Well, today's challenge - to ask for three things that bother/annoy your spouse, and listen, not justifying, just listening, was more of a challenge than I anticipated. When I casually asked the question my husband looked at me like I had just grown another appendage. His first response was, "Why would you ask?". I told him I just wanted to know because I wanted to work on being better. So, I waited about a half hour, then asked again. I even told him that I knew I wasn't easy to live with and I knew that I had to do things that were annoying and irritating. He told me that he didn't look at it that way, he just dealt with things and went on. (I almost swooned right there.) I even started giving him suggestions. Finally he came up with one - sometimes I say, "You ALWAYS", or "You NEVER", and talk in absolutes, when we all know that nothing is every always or never except God. I started to justify myself, then realized I was doing exactly what I wasn't supposed to do after I asked the question, so I stopped myself (for the record that's like trying to stop a '71 Harley-Davidson Sportster at top speed on a nickle and have change left over - near impossible).
I also found out about an hour later by trial and error that he does know how to drive and how to get to all the places we need to go, EVEN if he goes a different way than I would every single time. So, I pulled my trusty book out of my purse and read until we arrived at our destination. Not being anti-social, it kept my mouth shut and my "back-seat driver" schizophrenic personality quiet.
So, I accomplished 2 out of 3 today, and given more time I'm sure a #3 (plus a few more) will surface! Now that he's started he may get on a roll!
Now on to day #6.....
Day 6: Love is not irritable
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
—Proverbs 16:32
TODAY’S DARE
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
The very title of Day 6 is both disheartening and guilt inducing. Irritable can be my middle name, especially with my household - the ones I love the most. And then to make the challenge dealing with something tough about your marriage AND to not get irritated, or speak negatively to your spouse, while trying to find out that #3 from yesterday....I'm a little intimidated already!
Then adding "margin to your schedule" and "wrong motives" - are we sure this has to be all in one day? It feels like 2 or 3 days worth of a challenge all rolled up in one! I'm very honest with myself, and I know that I have flaws, (besides using absolutes like "always" and "never"......) I know that sometimes I'm all kinds of things I'd rather not be, even if I do manage to filter them before they come out of my mouth, I've still thought them, so they still count.
I have to say that tomorrow will be something I'll have to work harder on than almost any challenge. How are you feeling about this challenge?
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